Normal toddler behavior

Question

Any ideas?

my 15 mo used to be very loving, laid back, and would eat almost anything you gave him. He has had a very good diet from the start-gluten free, I give him coconut oil, drinks either goat milk or hemp milk, etc.

He now will barely eat anything I give him, and is having melt downs over EVERYTHING. Taking a bath, eating, etc. We brought him to our friends engagement party today and he started screaming bloody murder over being put in his highchair.

Is this normal? I’m a first time mom and dont know whether to be concerned, or to see it as “normal toddler behavior.” Tia!

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Kati 3 years 0 Answers 657 views 0

Answers ( No )

  1. How old, and recently vaccinated? Could be normal, could be more…. Time will tell

  2. Yes, normal, unfortunately. I have a 2.5 year old, I miss my sweet little baby.

  3. maybe he he is teething…any teeth coming in.

  4. Recently vaccinated at all? This behavior is NOW the new normal, but it was not before we started with such aggressive vaccination schedules. So all those saying their kids were once sweet? They should still be, even with the new assertiveness of toddlerhood. Tantruming in a bad way and melt downs and the super control issues are NOT normal.

  5. No vaccinations at all. I have asbergers so we didn't want to risk it.

  6. You should check with his pediatrician. While gluten free, special diets are ok for adults with health issues; babies are growing and have different needs. If he is not eating and is fussy when placed in his high chair (where he knows food is forthcoming), this could indicate stomache pains, etc. You should keep a food diary of everything you are feeding him… including liquids and supplements (vitamins, etc.) for a couple of days and give the list to your pediatrician. My son had issues and by doing this, we found out his problem… Hope this helps…

  7. Unfortunately it's normal and can last….and last…

  8. These are the terrible twos…btw, they last until 4. Gotta love toddlers!!

  9. 90% of the time it's a control issue. Being strapped into a high chair, car seat, stroller, etc seems to really piss them off. Try not to get panicked…they can sense it and it totally encourages them. Hang in there!!!

  10. Isn't this where grandparents and similar come in handy? LOL

  11. Behavior is communication to someone who can't use words. I don't believe this is terrible twos. Something is going on with him that he doesn't know how to tell you. Definitely check with the dr. It could be an illness coming on, an ear or throat infection or something else. Hopefully you can get to the bottom of it. Does he know any sign language? Maybe you could teach him a few signs (yes, no, eat, drink, hurt and others you can think of for him) to help him communicate with you.

  12. Bad tantrums are normal until 4. Of course you should check with the pediatrician…none of us are seeing the whole picture (and aren't medical advisors), but our doctor said he would be more concerned if my daughter wasn't throwing big tantrums at that age. You have to be more concerned if they are constantly melting down and unable to gain composure at 4. My 10 year old has autism and he had no tantrums at that age, he was really spacey and calm. My daughter is neurotypical 4 and she was a disaster at that age. They like to have control over feeding and pooping, because they can.

  13. Yep, normal, sounds like early onset (awful joke sorry) terrible twos. From my experience the only way to deal with it is ignore it. most important thing is for you to stay calm. Never let him see that it upsets you. Let him have melt downs in public without trying to placate him or bribe to calm down. If its over food he will eat when he's hungry so dont try to tempt him with treat things he honestly will eat even if it takes a few days – as long as you can get liquid/water into him but dont let him fill up with milk (mistake i made with my daughter and took a bit of sorting out). If he's having a tantrum in a high chair and its dangerous put him on the floor, stay out of his eye line but make sure that he's safe. Indicate to others not to interfere. All three of mine did this in supermarket and i let them lie on floor and scream until they'd had enough (indicating to passersby not to interfere) – they stopped eventually, panicked when they couldnt see me, stood up and ran to me when they spotted me and never did it again. See health visitor for advice – they are brilliant and not just for 'bad' parents and take him to see GP to check there isnt something else going on but id say he's trying to find his boundaries and just needs to be shown them.

  14. my oldest stopped eating things he used to eat and got very picky when I stopped breast feeding him…
    tantrums are "normal" but that doesn't mean that there isn't something going on to be addressed. I would look into food allergies and intolerances especially food colorings and sugars, gluten etc.
    when mine were littles Iearned that when something was going on with them there was often something going on with me that was interferring with the attachment part of parenting. good luck!!!

  15. Meltdowns are different to tantrums, are they happening at transition times, maybe get some visuals to use to let your child know what's coming up next? Do you think the food thing could be a sensory issue? Did you say you have aspergers?

  16. Completely normal

  17. ever heard of the terrible twos. LOL It varies when it happens. It happened to my girl when she turned 4. LOL Lucky for me it only lasted a couple months. she was a very easy kid. However, my friends son, when he was 20 months, OMG look OUT. So yea, this is normal. No worries.

  18. I am a professional in this area. If you aren't sure, I'd suggest talking with a speech/feeding therapist or OT. Is he a sensory kiddo? If you have a local 0-3 program, they will do a full eval and help you know what it typical for his age. They should also give you strategies to help with him. I am a speech therapist…when in doubt, check it out. (PS peds don't always know, and they wouldn't do a full eval.)

  19. Sounds like the terrible twos. It is a developmental stage where they realize they are little beings and have opinions, often different from yours.

  20. Perhaps sensory issues my dd has it

  21. Have you read Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp? There might be some strategies in there that could help you. I know his other book Happiest Baby on the Block was a game changer for me. Good luck!

  22. Keri Arnold has the best advice. I have major experience with this age group (100+ infants and toddlers) & degree in human development. From your description and concerns I'd say check with 0-3 for an assessment. It could be terrible twos, food allergy, communication problems, a desire for control over his life or even sensory issues.

    Since this is your first child I'd suggest that you find a more experienced mom or grandmother to visit with. Perhaps from church or a play group or family. Being a parent is hard work. You are on your way to being a great one since you are asking questions and seeking knowledge.
    Hugs

  23. It's totally normal. When he gets a meal, give him a little of what you know he loves, and a little of what you're not sure he'll eat but you hope he'll eat. He'' come around. Forcing them isn't helpful at that age.

  24. Omg that's my child today! Bloody murder in her car seat! Chews up food and spits it back out.

  25. I have gotten good advice from this blog. Many of her tactics have worked well for us. The most important is the last bit she says here: let your toddler know that if they have a tantrum then their request is completely off limits. Throw a fit for ice cream, unfortunately there will be no ice cream for you. This will get easier as he gets older…it is nearly impossible to rationalize with a child under 2. 🙂
    http://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/toddlers/toddler-tantrums

  26. Sounds like he needs to see a doctor something is not right if he's not eating and he mighten be getting enough nutrients. ..it's normal to have tantrums but they need to have a balanced diet

  27. My son is similar. For a while he would scream when we put the tray on his high chair. We found he would eat fine if I handed him food and left the tray off. That only lasted a couple of weeks and he's fine now. He also hates being strapped in his car seat because he wants to stand and move around constantly. And now he's developed a fear of water. Crying and trying to get out of the bath. I'm sure he will get over it though. If he's acting in pain or it's lasting a long time then I would worry.

  28. ^^ I agree with Keri "when in doubt, check it out". Are there any other red flags?

  29. terrible twos – or impending growth spurt

  30. Sounds like some Sensory Processing issues might be at play.

  31. Check him out first. Then, When he throws a fit, tell him you are going to put him in the "crying room" where he can cry all he wants. Then put him in a safe place and let him cry. Tell him to let you know when he is done. Only remove him when he's done. This worked with my two and with my grandchildren. You are in charge. Do not be a parent who puts children first or you'll be sorry. His tantrums are typical of near twos, twos and threes. It's really all about power when they're that age.

  32. but a meltdown is different than a tantrum, go slow and see if good Dr. thinks different? children are precious and it's important to be sure whether something else is going on….

  33. He is testing the water / pushing the boundaries (most likely). Try to keep calm and carry on. Don't bribe with food, never, if you do you will be jumping through ever smaller hoops. Offer a range of foods including some you know he likes, then leave him to it, (and preferably feed him at the same time /eating vaguely the same thing as you, or exactly the same thing, if it's suitable and don't fill him up between meals because 'he must be hungry'. Tantrums / meltdowns are best dealt with in a safe 'time out space' try to keep calm and loving 'Mummy doesn't like this silly noise, let me know when you are ready for a cuddle'. Good luck, hope it's just the 'terrible two's' a little early!

  34. The terrible twos have begun, mom!

  35. There is a difference. My younger two started asserting their independence at that age. They got upset when I did not understand or give in to their toddler whims. My oldest daughter, however, melted down because of certain sounds, sensations, and she would get completely overwhelmed. She seemed panicked more than upset. We have never had her formally diagnosed, but she has all the ear markers for SPD. Mag helps her a lot…it helps manage the anxiety so she can learn to cope. She has also grown out of a lot of it as she has gotten older. If it feels like more than simply asserting his will…if the response appears fearful, I would bring it up to your doctor.

  36. Dairy intolerance maybe?

  37. Meaning maybe he's hurting from something else now. Just an idea.

  38. I've heard that too much sugar, salt, artificial JUNK and dyes in every day foods can cause extreme changes in little ones. Maybe you can start there.

  39. Very normal. Remove him from the situation when he starts melting down. Don't give in to his demands. They are discovering their independence and trying to figure out how to manipulate you or train you. You have to train him with rewarding positive behaviors.

  40. Yes, Jamilla! Sensory issues are a whole different ballgame that need to be addressed. And food dyes can be a horrible trigger.

  41. I strongly recommend buying ALL the books Written by AMY AIMES. My one year old…My Two year old,,..My three year old. I found them EXTREMELY informative and therefore very helpful when my baby did weird things that threw my off! They were written many years ago but childrens milestones are still the same. I remember in one of her books she said a child will be perfectly fine for 6 months then turn into little demends the next 6 months or so. That I for sure remember.You can read one of her books easily in an hour. I bought all mine at Barnes and Noble. =)

  42. I agree with Robin Sheriff…I have suffered with stomach problems for as long as I can remember! My parents thought I was faking them or having a tantrum…

  43. As a counterpoint to all the advice on "teaching him who's boss

  44. I don't think anybody is advocating 'teaching him who's boss'. It is perfectly acceptable to acknowledge that a child, even a very small child, can have preferences and personality. But it does nobody any favours to constantly engage in battle, and, worse still, to always capitulate to a child having a tantrum is a one way street. We all have to fit into a bigger society and we all have to learn 'ground rules' or 'norms'.

  45. The difference between "normal behavior" and "an issue that needs treatment" is often one of degree. The kids that need help are exhibiting the same behaviors as the "normal" kids, but in a much more extreme fashion. That's why it's so hard to tell just from your description whether or not this is "normal."

    Toddlers are exasperating, and they test limits constantly. Their likes and dislikes can change from day to day, and they CERTAINLY change from how they were a few months before, when they were in a different developmental phase. And it's perfectly normal for a child to act "worse" in a party, crowded with people they hardly know, especially if their parents are stressed about "looking like good parents in front of extended family." Toddlers get overstimulated and don't know how to calm themselves back down.

  46. Very true, Ruth. Even older kids often have grumpy or emotional behavior right before a growth spurt. There is also a tendency for highly intelligent kids to be more sensitive and/or emotional, so it can be hard to differentiate. Communication and social difficulties and/or missed milestones generally present more of a red flag. Many kids that age are tantruming constantly at home, but good with other kids and adults.

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