People don’t understanding that it is a disease

Question

Today my daughter had a soccer game which they don’t bring snacks. There are only 4 girls. They are aware she has Celiac disease and brought donuts and cider for the other 3 girls after the game. My daughter was very upset not being able to have anything and I rushed her away as quick as I could. They make gluten free snacks and donuts. It would have been nice to make an attempt to include her. I’m very upset seeing her so sad. People don’t understanding that it is a disease and to stop not including her. I don’t know how to deal with this to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

…maybe I should clarify up here. I don’t expect them to provide them but to let me know so I could have gotten them for her since we don’t do snacks on our team until that game would have been considerate and thoughtful.

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Tara 3 years 50 Answers 1491 views 0

Answers ( 50 )

  1. To be honest, I never expected anyone to bring my daughter food or snacks. We always just brought it for her. Also, while other people may mean well, they might bring her something she can’t eat anyway (we’ve had that happen several times), so we just would rather other people to not go out of their way. She and her health and dietary needs are my responsibility – not anyone else’s.\n\nIts unfortunate that y’all were put in that situation :(.

  2. I’ve always just brought a snack for my kids! I don’t expect others to adjust to us because I don’t always trust it, so if I bring my own, all is good!

  3. That is so not fair! Nobody likes to be left out 🙁 i so hate this disease-been left out of stuff my whole life for one reason or another and this one is the worst! :'(

  4. I highly doubt they were being cruel. They probably just didn’t think about it. If you don’t have and allergy in your family it is most likely not something you think about. I think snacks should just go away. That way incidents like this won’t happen.

  5. We deal with this at my son’s school, they are allowed to bring doughnuts for birthdays ( because they are Peanut free) well, what about Gluten diet kids? It’s really not fair and it bothers me, I know it shouldn’t and I send in snacks for him to have at his nurses office for when this happens but it’s really just not fair. I feel your pain

  6. I am so sorry!! It is just awful how people can disregard other people’s allergies and conditions.

  7. This sounds intentional to me…. sorry. Simply put I’d have been pissed. It’s like bringing PBJ when you KNOW another child is allergic. \n\nCeliac isn’t an allergy but it’s still a condition that will cause her pain….unbelievable

  8. Sorry While I would not have expected them to provide her with something I would have expected a phone call to say hey, we’re gonna bring donuts, in case you want to get something safe for your daughter to have tonight.

  9. I prefer to bring our own snacks. Each time someone tried to make something homemade my son was sick and it’s hard to say no when someone cooks something gf.

  10. It’s very sad this happens. Next time bring snacks for her. I did this for my son today

  11. That is so sad.

  12. If you do for one, you should do for all. They make plenty of GF snacks. No child should feel left out. If it was a huge team, I can understand. But only 4 people?? You have every right to be upset… especially for your daughter!

  13. I am so sorry for your child’s hurt, but I promise you that it gets easier especially as they get older, although for us as moms never. For every moment that someone forgets, doesn’t understand, teases, ignores, or is reckless… there will be so many that DO go out of their way to ask, learn, bring that special treat, opt out of the group snack or activity so your child doesn’t feel alone,etc… My daughter is 11 and we’ve definitely been up and down the roller coaster of hurt so I understand completely. I almost always have backup snacks or a quick “less healthy” stop at the store on the way home for a candy treat, etc.. or we come home and bake our own, etc… It doesn’t erase but it can take the sting out and has helped her learn that her disease isn’t “her” but just one part of who makes up who she is like her hair color, etc… Hang in there — and I have learned to assume that most people just don’t understand or forget because it isn’t their daily reality — most people do not intend to be hurtful.

  14. You need to take her own snacks so she wont be upset next time. It’s the only way.

  15. When it comes to celiac disease people are actually ignorant, I’ve never seen anything like it.

  16. That breaks my heart. ALways have something special just for her – something yummy to have or a gift card or special gift of something that maybe the other girls will want lol

  17. not an excuse but some people I have found, just don’t get it. they may be more likely to remember her next time. so sorry this happened.

  18. When you are gluten free, it’s good to always have snacks available, whether it’s standard practice to take snacks or not. If we get hungry, we can’t just whip through a drive-thru, so we need to have food available. If she had had fruit or something else healthy, I doubt she would have been upset.

  19. No excuse for being that thoughtless!

  20. I ALWAYS have a little bag in my diaper bag for my kids of “emergency snacks”. My kids have many food allergies- gluten, dairy, eggs, almonds, mustard, soy, just to name a few…. so my go to are Larabars. I have 3 kids (with teeth- one is a baby) and I always have at least 3 bars with me just in case…. just in case my girls get left out of the soccer snack (happend recently), or we end up at the car mechanic and its lunch time and their waiting room doesn’t have anything GF, etc. I always try to be prepared. Sure, she may not get a donut, but at least she gets to participate.

  21. What I personally find sad, is that a pretty large percentage of our society are so self centered…my own sister in law had hurt me more times then I care to recount. Just a simple whatever thing I have told her in the past was gf would be nice. Even if the kids had brought a candy bar or
    Bag of
    Chips that they knew was gf and said hey I am sorry you can’t have this but I knew you could have this would be nice.

  22. Communication and thoughtfulness are characteristics many people are lacking now a days. What happened to treat people how you would like to be treated? This entire situation could have been avoided easily. That’s the upsetting part.

  23. That’s such a bummer ? I’m sorry to hear that! Maybe keep some gf treats in your bags?? Like if something like that happens you could give her a piece of chocolate or something!

    I’m a young adult with no kids so I’m not sure how to properly handle that situation with other parents and adults. I just know a piece of chocolate makes anyone feel better

  24. Perhaps they just don’t know what to do, most people are not educated about the issue.

  25. I always make sure everyone knows to let me know if there will be snacks or food so I can bring her food … it’s not safe for others to cook for her due to cross contamination but if it’s a snack I tell them what she can have … regardless I always try and have a snack or food for her at any party or event we go … even if someone offers and what if they bring the wrong thing

  26. I understand, my kids are now 13&15, so people are wonderful and some only think of themselves. I use to bring snacks for everyone , so there would not be that difference all the time. There was a time when they did not want any snack. \n There are many many kids out there with food issues. Ask around , start a small support group ,

  27. People are clueless. And basically they don’t care. So I say give them a clue. Tell them to let you know when they are having snacks and you will be happy to include a gluten free version so your child feels like part of the gang.

  28. That happens to us all the time. I actually bring her her own baggie of goodies!! One time a mom actually had the nerve to ask me if I felt bad for my daughter by making her gluten free and that she felt bad for her because I was making her different from the other kids!! Ignorant people!!

  29. It’s been happening all my adult life, you just have to bring your own everywhere you go. Most people are confused over what she can eat it’s safer to bring her what she can eat.

  30. ‘Tis is life 🙁 we hate seeing our kids hurt but I really think they come out stronger on the other end. Stuff like this doesn’t tend to bother my son anymore ( he’s 12 )

  31. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I don’t think it’s other people’s job to make sure our kids have a gluten free snack. It sounds ugly and believe me, I’m not trying to be. I know it sucks (I have four kiddos under the age of 10 with Celiac. Three of them play sports). I mean, it’s real life as a Celiac- you’re going to be left out of most food opportunities because it’s either not gluten free or you can’t trust that there wasn’t any CC. I just tell my kids at the beginning of every season, I’ll have your snack after the game. End of story. My kids have never had a gluten free donut. Before you or your kids were diagnosed, did you know how to read labels and really know the code words for gluten? I sure didn’t. We got dealt a low blow, just part of life and she’ll learn to deal with it. If it were me, yeah- donuts are a little over board for a snack. So in that case it really sucks on the temptation factor. So, I’d prob let them have a popsicle at home or something. We just can’t expect people to make special arrangements because our kid has Celiac. Is it appreciated if they try or are thoughtful and ask “hey I’m planning on bringing donuts, are there any gluten free kind I can pick up for her somewhere? That’s awesome and makes me feel so good! Just can’t expect it or get angry when it doesn’t happen.

  32. Jerks and teaching their kids that, too. I dont expect a ton of accommodations, but for a kid?! This is ridic they didn’t make some effort.

  33. Maybe they couldn’t find anything gluten free where they bought these doughnuts? I always am well prepared for myself and daughter. I don’t expect others to provide us with snacks….not everyone understands how much we actually can’t eat. When I was first diagnosed with a wheat allergy I was clueless. Had no idea how much stuff it’s actually in!!

  34. If they are that clueless would you really want her to eat anything they made? Best bring your own always.

  35. You’re going to have to bring your own food for your daughter at every social function unfortunately. The only people that will care about your daughter’s needs are you and those who only truly care about her. My daughter, too, has celiac disease. We don’t count on anyone to accommodate her diet because they just don’t understand. It’s just the way it is¸ And it gets very complex at times trying to decipher ingredients. It needs to be our responsibility, as parents, to make sure our celiac kids have their own food. I don’t trust anyone else anyway.

  36. Where I live I have never found a gluten free doughnut I have to be honest. It’s very very rare we go to anything where my son has been thought of. The people that do are usually very good friends. If we go to a party they go oh umm I’m sure there is something. We get odd looks when he opens a pack lunch box. To be fair his normally good but his 5 so has days where it will get to him. I try to make sure there is something in my bag. There isn’t a lot you can do other then this and be empathic to your childs feelings.

  37. People don’t understand. They are confused and its hard. it’s easier for them just to ignore it. Even as an adult it was hurtful when this happened to me but as an adult it’s easy to understand and deal with — as a child it’s very hard but you have to get them to understand it’s not their fault, that people are ignorant and aren’t doing this to hurt them intentionally.

    I generally educate people when I first know it’s going to be important to my relationship with them. Then I wait to see what happens— do they ask me questions about ingredients, wonder about recipes or just skip over the whole thing ? Gives me a clue as to how things are going to be and I plan accordingly.

    Personally I have learned to always bring my own food/snack or eat ahead of time for parties and less I am very sure of how and with what foods are prepared. Unless something was packaged and states glutenfree I wouldn’t trust that it was glutenfree — it hides it so many ingredients that nonceliacs probably wouldn’t even think of. The item can get cross contaminated in a kitchen that isn’t glutenfree.

    With my kids sports teams we as parents got together and put all our kids food sensitivities on the table and came up with a list of what was acceptable to bring like oranges, apples, rice krispy treats, water, etc. Then the parent bringing snacks brought something from the list . Made things easy and there were no disappointed kiddos!

  38. Wait, they didn’t even give her an apple cider? I get the donuts but they could’ve at least given her cider and said sorry about the snack.

  39. Poor little thing. It’s a tough disease. Compassion would be amazing. Especially at her age

  40. many parents are afraid to bring something gluten free that you would allow it or there might be something other than gluten they can’t have like corn/soy. best to always have her pack a snack herself to be safe.

  41. What a nice parent that bought snacks… I love to see people pay it forward ♥️ \n\nReading these comments 🙈 \nDo you really think it even went through that person’s head.. oh that lil girl had Celiac. Oh well they get nothing. That parent doesn’t shop GF…. I bet it didn’t even go through thier head and they felt awful in the long run. \n\nDon’t expect people to go out of thier way for your kids because people make mistakes and don’t think about every little aspect in life. Be grateful there is still kind hearted people out there that is paying it forward ♥️

  42. I clarified my statement numerous times but since it’s obviously not being read before more and more posts are being written, I changed my original post. Again, 4 girls on a team that does not do treats on the team. They knew she had Celiac disease and couldn’t eat gluten. Many forms of communication are available via email, text, phone and messenger and to let me know that they all of a sudden decided to bring donuts to the game for 3 girls would have been nice to know in advance so I could have provided them myself. Can we stop all this bantering and rude comments now, please? Thank you! And all of you have a good day!

  43. People don’t think and they definitely don’t understand food intolerances. Most of my family acts like it’s the first time I tell them everytime I say I don’t eat “bread”.
    It’s like ground hog’s day??‍♀️
    My advice, you can carry snacks for her to always be prepared and make it your thing, but you also have to get her used to not being able to partake often. Sorry. It sucks, but that’s going to be the reality of her life most of the time.
    I would still say something to the coaches, since it’s a small team, but try not to be upset.

  44. That’s kinda harsh. If they knew they could have easily just sent a message.

  45. I sent a nice email to the 3 parents on the team explaining Celiac Disease and asking to be contacted in advance next time. No response but at least I tried.

  46. It was unthoughtful! To let you know would have been the right thing. I think if it were me, I would have a snack available everyone for my child. You might even take some for other girls. Take the high road!

  47. I am so sorry for your daughter. Life is hard enough without being left out when there are treats.

  48. I can understand your frustrations. A few years ago I would of said it’s not far too the other kids to do without over health issue of one and to some extent that is still true. So only thing I can suggest is to know what there having and try to have the same for your child GF… Diabetic children can not have ice cream and cupcakes and cookies at all the bday parties to which I never thought about intell this moment will be shore to ask if there are any in class for next time … My daughter has POTS SYNDROM and has to drink lots of fluids and electrolytes and eat lots of salt so she has to eat and drink in class I can not afford to buy this for her whole class it’s her medicine if you will she has to do this to be as healthy as she can your more than welcome to google POTS SYNDROM if you would like to understand it better… I am sorry LIFE IS UNFAIR and I say that meaning it lots of love to you and your child

  49. You need to bring them for her from now on. People aren’t going to care as much as you do and you’d never want her to get sick. From now just bring it.Hugs to your daughter it sucks both being included.

  50. Because it was such a small group, I definitely think that snack provider was in the wrong to not at least inform you. Not expecting is one thing, but a small close nit group of 4?! Where I imagine you take turns- should have thought at the very least to inform you.

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